Wish you could always run into new and exciting (retarded) people?
Or are you just looking to escape your horrible reputation?
You will also meet some of our most fine and upstanding citizens! Such as this man...
I don't know what his name means, but I'm betting HE WILL KEEP YOU ALIVE! *wink*
Additionally, we have many fine pugs for you to choose from!!
Be warned, however, because though Cenarius might present itself as a friendly environment we will retaliate when push comes to shove...
Like any realm, Cenarius has different ranks for its players. So don't go asking Arathian Knight's if they would like to join you on your adventures. You can go fuck yourself!
Suck on our shit. Outsiders.
Ah unpredictable Cenarius...
The only thing constant about you is your random melt downs.
There are only so many times I can hear 'THE HAMSTER DIED LULULUL' before I want to stab my eyes out and go play on a private server, because seriously the guy living in mommy's basement can run a realm better than you guys have done. This is one of the oldest realms known to this game. I remember being in EQ and hearing about people leaving for WoW to play on Cenarius. Mostly just to stalk Afterlife.
This realm has HISTORY and you treat it like shit. Do something about it. Give me that $100 bill Activision uses for toilet paper and I'll figure something out.
The most recent realm terrorist attack happened on one of our best raiding nights. We had gotten insanity again, which is to be expected of our guild, and went for our second putricide kill. It went flawlessly...
Then a voice entered my head.
IT WAS THE REALM!
It was speaking to me...
When the realms came up we had discovered that the MIB came and used their Blue Flash Memory Eraser on Icecrown Citadel. Professor Putricide had forgotten that he was DEAD!
Enough QQing...
We have much to discuss my gentle snowflakes! For starters, congratulations are in order for our realm first kills. Not only did we get the chance to rape FesterVag and Cumface before anyone else, we also managed to get a realm first on the Blood Prince Council.
These are just normal mode encounters, however, and mean very little. All the top raiding guilds have done a superb job of cleaning up the content swiftly. I have no doubt our guild, or any of the other top raiding guilds on Cenarius, will have the Queen down soon. She already suffered a nerf on 10 man. Pity. I kinda liked getting 9k hps on a 10 man encounter...
Icecrown has been entertaining. I can't wait till a real challenge presents itself!
GUILDS YOU SHOULD CONSIDER JOINING:
Here's a glimpse into your Future. You fuckers...
Huh?
The boss will give you a raise for this Tan...
We love Ziz...
Who's hungry??
There's some might for ya!
This is funny on so many levels...
Point for the name, and a deduction for the WRONG CLASS!
We should kick this terrible Priest in my guild...
It has been almost a MONTH since our last update and I don't even know where to begin...
As a guild we have so much to be thankful for. Even though this is just a video game it has given us so many memories that we will likely take for granted.
People don't read these updates to hear my opinion on such matters, however, they want to know what shit we killed and get a laugh out of it.
So without further ado...
PATCH 3.3
Everyone loves major patch days.
New content...
New gear...
And of course...
A BROKEN FUCKING GAME
We battled the server, bosses, and got some really nice gear. Every single boss that was released was cleared our first run through Icecrown Citadel.
By the end of the week many of us had our exalted rings.
The content was so easy that by the second week we had an alt run consisting of all Future members. We cleared it on those characters too.
I am not complaining, however, the content was entertaining. I look forward to seeing the rest as it appears to be more 'challenging,' but we will see..
The patch also brought us the ability to "que" for 5 man dungeons with people from all across our battleground. Its funny, because I thought I had already met the bottom of the genetic barrel on my realm, but lo and behold...
This guy was telling the truth about conc actually...
I love this feature. I FUCKING LOVE IT! Thank you Blizzard, because you have brought some e-life back into me! How else was I gonna entertain myself at 3am? Sleep? Fuck sleep.
With new content we have to say goodbye to the old. Yes. Future is finally saying goodbye to lolduar...
You're probably wondering what the best homosexually friendly, transexual welcoming guild is still doing in Ulduar. I asked myself that at 20 fragments, and really had a desire to just stop there, but my guild was persistent and made a commitment to keep on keeping on through this nightmare of an instance.
As we mindlessly cleared content far longer than Blizzard ever meant for us to we started to feel Yogg-Saron's curse take effect on us. WE WERE GOING FUCKING INSANE BEING IN THIS INSTANCE.
I'd really rather be in your grandfathers asshole. Seriously. Probably more fun too...
However, my guilds patience payed off...
^We'll see if finishing this legendary was really worth it, but goodbye Ulduar. The sex was good at first, but like all vagina you've gotten a lil too loose for our liking. We will not miss you. Whore.
Last, but certainly not least, is the Trial of the Grand Crusader. I've got to tell you something. Even though we were the 3rd alliance guild to kill Anub by a long shot we've certainly had a rough time getting insanity. We've gone through...
4 Paladins
2 Resto druids
2 Priests
2 Shamans
And more gay prostitutes than we care to mention...
Regardless after weeks of killing Anub we weren't about to allow any slackers to keep us from completeing what we were always capable of doing.
There. It's done. GO SLAP YOUR VAGINAS AND STOP CRYING TO ME! I'm tired of your crying, whining, bullshit...
Much has transpired since our last update. For starters we defeated Algalon and the fight went something like this...
*Algalon ascends from the heavens*
"Hai futur! Ur ilevel226 is no match for...OWAIT"
*Algalon is defeated*
I was gonna add a stick figure pic, but fuck you.
Regardless of our accomplishments in recent months, we were overdue for some slackage/psychotic behavior.
A big fuck you goes out to Legendary. I got to hand it to you bro, demanding Heroic Justicebringer on your first official raid takes balls! It also takes a special type of person to gquit for not getting into a 10 man insanity run and then trying to wipe all our 25H attempts.
Luckily Blizzard banned your ass so no guild has to deal with your downsyndrome voice and psychotic habits. Ontop of that a GM found a way to restore the attempts you tried to waste. So i hope it was worth it. GG.
So what are the steps for restoring said attempts?
Step 1 for GM restoration: Log into Taninors account.
Step 2...
What the gm failed to mention (to our delight) was that he had to kill Ruin(Taninor) repeatedly.
Ontop of Legendary's idiocy came the slackers who decided it was a great time to retire. All at the same time. Causing us to go through bad applicants like a fat kid eating a bag of doritos!
Despite this, our tenacity carried us through these two weeks of HELL, which lead us to our best Anub kill. Nobody died. Not a single fucking person. It was as smooth as the babies ass, which Raamm ate breakfast off of...
So to all you cockslacking, psychotic, terribleexcuseforaWoWplayer/humanbeing bastards i'd like to thank(fuck) you.
Here's a glimpse into your Future, you fuckers...
What every man loves to hear from a woman!
Concowned.
Concownedpart2.
Dcatowned.
We were sharing recipes...
How I raid lead sometimes...
Maybe you shouldn't jack off your boyfriend while playing WoW?
Ever get the feeling Blizzard is fucking with us?
Our GM (Taninor) telling me what my new job is as an officer for our new Co-GM (Blooblahguy)...
Bloo telling me just how he likes it!
True story
Trunhin telling Drowningcat a story about the time he found out what his grandmothers secret ingredient was for her 'mushroom' soup.
So what happens to a guild who has cleared the latest and 'greatest' content you might ask?
How do we motivate ourselves to kill content we've killed before?
Why do we keep on keeping on??
These are very good questions you(I) have asked me(myself)!
Truth be told Future does it because we're a family. We provide for each other. Similar to the way Dr. Jason Seaver does for his family! He brings the mental patients home...
Show me that smile again. (Show me that smile)
Dont waste another minute on your cryin.
We're nowhere near the end (nowhere near)
The best is ready to begin.
Oooohhh. As long as we got each other
We got the world spinnin right in our hands.
Baby you and me, we gotta be
The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin.
As long as we keep on givin
we can take anything that comes our way
Baby, rain or shine, all the time
We got each other Sharin the laughter and love.
(wait what?)
Back to some actual news...
Truth be told we're looking for a few good gay men(or just men). Future doesn't like to sit around and wait for people to log on. You're not carrying your weight Mike, get the FUCK out of my house!
Now I present to you a glimpse into the Future!
How to leave a group...
Our main tank healers have such confidence, they go afk in the heat of battle!
Roleplaying meets Harlem(nigga)...
Wise words Raamm...
What can I say, I like Pokemon!
Perhaps a break from WoW is in order...
Taninors boredom cured!
Maybe choose your words more carefully next time Bloo? Justa thought...
Steelbreaker hates Holy Paladins as much as we do!
Feral Druid (DPS)
Holy Paladin
Holy Priest
Hunter
Protection Warrior
on so many levels...
